apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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