weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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