Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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