I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
