I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
