You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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