Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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