Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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