I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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