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The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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