This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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