actually, I'm a sock model
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
