Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
