The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
