I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
