you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
