NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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