He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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