OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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