Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize