He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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