i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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