I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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