why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
