Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
