I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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