It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dicks are not precious.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
