quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Iβm going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. Iβm going to keep him around a while
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