hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
