I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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