Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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