apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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