i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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