i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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