I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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