he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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