You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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