I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
