6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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