so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
