is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
