I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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