you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
