all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A bitchslap is in order.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
