i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
