I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's always time for handjobs
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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