she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize