shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
