You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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