The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
