I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
