One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
