i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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