tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
