Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
