Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
