So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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