my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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