I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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