bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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