please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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