the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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