i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My balls are so social today.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
