We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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