bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
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Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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