I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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