i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
