Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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