Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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