Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
