Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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